Distracted

No class for 2 weeks now, and I have been struggling to write a new post. Originally, I wanted to share how distracting I often find New York to be. Spring is here and beautiful women dot the sidewalks like birds in a tree, colorful and happy at having returned from the cold, long winter. Bikers take to the streets and the tourists are here once more. So much to see. In addition, there are countless cafes, restaurants, shops, bars and an unquantifiable amount of other interesting things to look at here in New York

However, my post on being distracted will have to wait, I have been just too distracted to write anything. Even time for basic reflection goes out the window and my mind drifts from here to there...

Sometimes I feel that if I can learn to maintain my focus here in Manhattan, I will be able to keep my mind calm, even were I to find myself in the throes of battle. Great.

Rather than fight the city and become a recluse, I try to make my self comfortable and at ease here. Awaiting class to begin again, on the first warm day, I find a patch of new grass upon which to sit in Tompkins Square Park, and start to read some earlier chapters of the Analects that I missed. I don't get far; actually, only the first sentence: Confucius said, "Is it not indeed a pleasure to acquire knowledge and constantly exercise oneself therein?"

Looking inside generally proves to be the ultimate joy. There is nothing I enjoy more than sitting on that lawn or in my neighborhood cafe and really trying to sort things out in my mind. It is a constant struggle here to make this happen, however.

I think I understand a little of what Confucius meant, is it not a joy to practice what one has learned? I can relate. From my experience with the last lesson, I can see that keeping one or two simple concepts in mind and working on them daily, I am able to see clearly, and make little improvements over the course of time. Calmness and happiness seem to follow this effort.

Alas, the beast that is New York exacerbates my problem, and I lose focus as easily as a 2 year old child hopped up on candy. Yes Confucius, it may be a joy, but my brain becomes a jumble of unsorted, unwanted and unhelpful thoughts.

Alright, perhaps all I am really working on as a human being is my will to continue learning and trying to put that learning into practice. Is this an overly simple concept? I don't think so. This is perhaps the most crucial part of my new direction, the long and short of it all.

From the first word I read in the Analects, and the first thought I had at writing down my troubled experiences, I felt as if I had taken on a deep responsibility...to never stop working on my virtuous human qualities. I know they are there, if only I could dig 'em out. My friend told me that the virtue of Chien (Heaven, the yang,) was to never give up the determination to pursue benevolence. As Confucius said, I do love learning.

Perhaps this is the teaching I can take from the first line written down in the Analects; I do not have to hurry to attain a goal, but just to take a bit of responsibility to stay on this track, wherever it leads. Naturally the distractions are only helping me with my will.

Thank you New York.